yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
