he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
