pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize