So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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