Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
