so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
