i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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