i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
