great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
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