just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
