I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
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