i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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