and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Randomize
