How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
