I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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