She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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