my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
