I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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