A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
