Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Randomize
