If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Blood and glitter go together right?
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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