It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
He kissed a someone with a penis
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
