I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
