Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Randomize
