Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
