at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
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