he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
