we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
