Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I DEMAND FORESKIN
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
