Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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