and next time when you feel me up, do it right
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Randomize
