I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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