I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
