recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Randomize
