Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
