Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I can tuck mytits in my pants
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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