it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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