Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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