I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
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