great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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