I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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