we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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