some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
