we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
The adults are the big ones right?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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