Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
