i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
