My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I met the friendliest cop last night
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
