you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Randomize
