just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
