im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Randomize
