you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Couch. On fire.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
