I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
