when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
