i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
