im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize