How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize