My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
