It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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