2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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