Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize