lets start a swedish sibling band together
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
